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Healthy
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Promoting Mental Health
for Preschoolers
Promoting mental health for preschoolers in childcare programs focuses on developing social skills and friendships. Many preschoolers have difficulty making and keeping friends because they lack the necessary social skills.
Children who display poor social skills and aggressive behavior may be rejected by peers and not welcomed in play activities, resulting in psychological pain. Addressing these social skills and behaviors may prevent problems that might continue throughout the child’s life. Efforts to change behaviors are most likely to succeed if they start when the children are very young; and many of these appropriate skills can be learned in the childcare setting.
Playing Together
How can caregivers help children develop social skills? The best approach is through play. You can help a child join a game that other children have started by helping the child find something he or she can add to the activity.
Look for some role the child can play that will make the game more fun. Give the child tools or toys that make the game more complete, and make positive comments about the new child’s play. Gradually, the children will recognize the contribution and welcome the new playmate.
Preschool children need help in recognizing which of their behaviors make it harder to connect with other children, as well as which behaviors are positive. A child who loudly crashes in, acts aggressively, and tries to be the one with all of the good roles is often rejected. You can gently point out that if a child asks to join others in play, other children may respond to this in a positive manner.
While helping the child become more aware of his or her negative behaviors, you can help develop skills that are more socially acceptable, like waiting turns, sharing, being polite, and coping with frustration. Preschoolers are just beginning to learn these skills and they require ‘practice’ before they become regular habits.
Developing Personal Responsibility
Understanding that actions result in cause and effect is an important social skill. For example, a young child might fall on and hurt another child. This is an unintentional act, but it still has a result (in this case, pain).
Gently explain to the child the unintentional action caused the other child to feel pain and cry. Do not scold or shame the child. Instead, emphasize that when someone accidentally causes pain he or she is responsible; but he is not a bad person because of it.
Do not try to force the child to apologize verbally. Actions are better than words. After tending to the hurt child, encourage the offending child to help by offering a toy, patting a hand, or other small gestures. The goal is to help both children begin to develop a proper sense of cause and effect, responsibility, and empathy.
Aggressive Behaviors
Some preschoolers show aggressive behaviors. The caregiver’s response should be similar whether the hurtful behavior is unintentional or intentional. Calmly step in immediately between the children to prevent further aggressive behavior.
Comfort the child who was hurt. Then, look into the offending child’s eyes and say calmly but firmly, “I do not like it when you hit and hurt people” or “No hitting is allowed here.” Encourage the child who was hurt to tell the other child, “You hurt me.” After you have helped both children understand the incident, and steps to avoid a repetition have been taken, the children may be reunited.
There often is a pattern to aggressive behavior. Watch to see when and where aggressive action happens. Who is involved? What is the situation? What happens before and after the aggression? Look for a pattern to the situations, places, or other children involved. Can you see frustration developing in the child just before he or she acts aggressively?
Try to identify situations that promote aggressive behavior and redirect the child before aggression occurs. Another caregiver may observe the situation and have helpful suggestions. If the child continues to show aggressive behaviors, consider scheduling a parent conference and possible consultation with a mental health consultant or child therapist.
Expressing Emotions
Recognizing and expressing emotions is another step in developing children’s mental health. Young children initially use physical aggression to express emotions because they do not have the words to communicate. Give them words, and show them appropriate ways to express their feelings.
Young children do not yet have the skills to understand the different degrees of the same emotions. For example, if they say they are angry, they are just angry. They do not distinguish between related emotions like being annoyed or being furious. Use concrete examples to help them better understand their range of emotions.
You also can help children understand that all emotions are okay, even the difficult ones. Then, help them learn how to name their emotions and express them in ways that do not hurt themselves or others.
Role playing and demonstrating appropriate responses can help children recognize and express their emotions.
- Anger: Ask the child, “Are you bothered (mildly irritated)? Are you angry (quite upset about the situation)? Are you really mad (foot stomping, want to have a tantrum, mad)?”
- Sadness: Ask the child, “Are you unhappy (do not feel like smiling)? Are you sad (want to cry)? Do you feel really sad (do not want to talk to anyone, want to be left alone)?”
- Happiness: Ask the child, “Do you like that (smiling, pleasant)? Are you happy (laughing, smiling, radiant face)? Are you really excited and happy (cannot wait, jumping up and down happy)?”
Children need love and attention at every age. Caregivers promote mental health every day through simple actions like calling children by their names, putting up pictures or art work by each child, praising all children’s efforts, listening to children, demonstrating affection, and encouraging acceptance of all children.
Role Modeling
Children copy what they see; so it is important to model appropriate behavior and good problem solving skills. Show children how to smile and laugh often! Keep your voice pleasant and reassuring. Avoid shouting or yelling. Respond appropriately to situations. Present a positive and encouraging outlook even in difficult situations. Model good coping skills to show children how adults deal effectively with stressful situations.
Taking the time to help children develop these skills will help them develop healthy social and emotional skills and put in place healthy emotional/social habits that will help them as they grow older.
Anarella Cellitti, Ph.D., University of Alabama at Birmingham.
Internet Resources
Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning, csefel.uiuc.edu/
Children’s Advocate, Mental Health for Young Children, www.4children.org/news/799mheal.htm
Connect for Kids, Early Childhood (0-5 years) Mental Health and Development Toolkit, www.connectforkids.org/node/3003
National Mental Health Association, www.nmha.org/children/prevent/stats.cfm
Resources
Zero to Three, National Center for Infants, Toddlers and Families, 2000 M St., NW, Ste. 200, Washington, DC 20036; 202-638-1144; www.zerotothree.org
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